For this week’s NFL recap, I have decided to merge two things that I love very much: football and “The Office.” I believe that weaving in the incredible quotability of the NBC phenomenon with the highs and lows of NFL football will make for spectacular content. I take great joy in creating a world where Pam Beesly and Russell Wilson share a commonality and where Michael Scott has something to do with Tua Tagovailoa. Oh, what a beautiful world that is.
Justin Herbert continuing to throw lasers after literally breaking his ribs
When Chiefs linebacker Mike Danna brought Justin Herbert down hard late in Kansas City’s 27-24 victory over the Chargers on Thursday night, Herbert’s rib cartilage had been fractured. Although in visible pain, Herbert remained in the game.
Later in the drive, the Chargers faced a third and one. Herbert rolled to his right and had a few yards of undisturbed green grass in front of him. He could’ve walked, heck, he could’ve griddied to a first down if he wanted to.
Instead, he strangely threw the ball away as if his body told him: “Nope, we’re not doing this right now.” Although Herbert could’ve had an easy first down, you can’t blame him for bailing on the play. Broken ribs hurt. Normal bodily functions like breathing are immensely painful, let alone throwing a football. Down 10 with under five minutes to play, a Chargers comeback looked bleak.
Suddenly, on fourth and one, Herbert dropped back and fired a 35-yard missile to DeAndre Carter to set up first and goal, then hit Josh Palmer for a touchdown a few plays later on, you guessed it, fourth down. It was as if Herbert had been touched by a higher football power, like his ribs were healed football Jesus who wanted to see Herbert lead an improbable comeback.
Although hypothetical football Jesus didn’t get to witness a miraculous Chargers come-from-behind victory, that sequence reminded everyone just how unbelievable Herbert is. While I sat in shock as Herbert went from wincing in pain to zipping dots, I later realized that I shouldn’t have been surprised. The best quarterbacks are able to (Sergeant Thomas Holloway voice) improvise, adapt and overcome. Albeit a couple of mistakes, Thursday night reminded us of just how amazing Herbert is. If you can defy the limits of human ability with broken bones, you’re different. Justin Herbert is different.
Tua Tagovailoa believers chastising non-Tua believers for ever saying anything negative about him
Maybe having Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle in a West Coast offense is indeed a recipe for success.
Wait, sorry. The focus here is and should be on Tagovailoa, who threw for (wipes glasses) 469 yards and six touchdowns in Miami’s 21-point fourth quarter comeback victory over Baltimore. Tagovailoa’s 469 yards through the air are the most ever in a single game by a Dolphin not named Dan Marino, and his six passing touchdowns equal the franchise record along with Marino in 1986 and Bob Griese in 1977.
Sunday was certainly a celebration for all Tua believers worldwide, and it was easy to see why Tagovailoa can be far more successful with this iteration of the Dolphins. Mike McDaniel’s offense is predicated on getting the ball to his receivers quickly and allowing them to gash defenses after the catch. The quarterback’s job in that kind of offense is to make snap decisions (usually out of a run-pass option) and deliver accurate, short-yardage throws to receivers. When your playmakers are Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle, it makes that kind of offense not only infinitely more dangerous, but a lot easier to execute.
Tagovailoa looked sharp for the most part, hitting receivers in the spots they needed to be. There were a few throws that were not good, as some were either forced into tight coverage, missed the intended receiver entirely or were underthrown to their target. But Tagovailoa delivered a handful of really, really nice throws that should’ve made Dolphins fans happy.
This is what happens when you give a quarterback weapons and a simple playbook. Tua looked confident and in control, which is exactly what you want from a young quarterback. It’s only been two games, but this Dolphins offense is an early front-runner for the most fun in the league.
I wasn’t a Tua believer. I didn’t think he had shown enough in his first two seasons for me to consider him Miami’s long-term starter. It might be time to start reconsidering that.
Colts fans watching their team tie the Texans and get housed by the Jaguars
What the heck is going on with the Colts? Indy entered 2022 as probably the easiest division winner pick in the league. They upgraded at quarterback from the high-variance Carson Wentz (who literally cost them a playoff spot in the season finale last year) to the much safer Matt Ryan. Jonathan Taylor was coming off of a historic season. Michael Pittman Jr. was set to break out, and the defense seemed really solid. Looking at their division foes, the Titans have holes all over their roster, the Jaguars are still a rebuilding team, and the Texans fall in the same boat.
Through two weeks, the Colts have looked like the team in need of a rebuild. After a 20-20 tie in Houston, the Colts went into Jacksonville and were dominated 24-0. Why is this happening? Why are the usually-steady Indianapolis Colts struggling so mightily against seemingly inferior teams?
The major problem area has been the offense, which has been about as well-oiled as a sputtering engine. Matt Ryan has played like Carson Wentz, only without the high-ceiling part. Confusing interceptions and bad fumbles (including four against the Texans) have defined Ryan’s first two games in Indy. The Colts offensive line has played its worst football in recent memory, and the lack of receiving weapons behind Michael Pittman Jr. is bleak. No other Indy pass-catcher brings something unique or special to the table that makes defenses pay an ample amount of attention to them. There aren’t any speedy field-stretchers, exceptional route-runners or ferocious ball-winners. Alec Pierce has the tools to be good one day. Nyheim Hines is a solid receiving back. But there aren’t any receiving threats outside of Pittman Jr., which makes defending the Colts all that much easier.
The most shocking statistic regarding Indy’s dismal offense regards their inability to consistently finish off drives. Against the Texans, the Colts had seven total trips inside the Houston 30; five of those resulted in a whopping six points. Against the Jaguars, they made only two trips inside the Jacksonville 30 – both inside the ten-yard line – and came up empty-handed both times. In total, seven visits inside the opponent’s 30-yard line have produced six points. That is absolutely terrible!
The defense hasn’t stepped up much, either. They’ve allowed both the Houston and Jacksonville offenses to move the ball downfield with relative ease. Although they’ve “held” both teams under 25 points, nothing about their defense has stood out as particularly scary.
There’s a chance we may have all been affected by “name-brand syndrome” when evaluating the Colts heading into this season. This disease strikes when a team is considered good or bad based on pedigree and not on the current state of the roster. When I think of the Colts, I think of a team with a solid quarterback, a fantastic ground attack behind a sturdy offensive line and a defense with no glaring holes. That hasn’t been the 2022 Colts. Again, it’s only been two games, and maybe the Texans and Jaguars are better than we thought. But the Colts look discombobulated, which, for a team that’s supposed to be veteran-laden, is rather concerning.
THE NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS ARE 2-0 FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2016
THIS SECTION SHALL BE WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE, UH, THAT’S A THING I CAN DO. SAQUON LOOKS LIKE SAQUON AGAIN. THE OFFENSIVE LINE, WHILE STILL NOT GREAT, LOOKS EONS BETTER THAN THEY HAVE IN RECENT YEARS. DANIEL JONES HAS HAD TIME TO THROW. FOURTH-STRING RECEIVERS ARE MAKING BIG-TIME PLAYS.
BUT THE DEFENSE. OH THE DEFENSE HAS BEEN SPECTACULAR. I KNOW THE TITANS AND PANTHERS ARE FAR FROM OFFENSIVE JUGGERNAUTS BUT WINK MARTINDALE HAS THOSE DAWGS BARKING. THEY’VE CREATED CONSISTENT PRESSURE ON THE QUARTERBACK AND THROWN OPPOSING OFFENSES OFF-SCHEDULE. THE AGGRESSIVENESS IS PAYING OFF. WHO NEEDS KAYVON THIBODEAUX AND AZEEZ OJULARI WHEN YOU HAVE JIHAD WARD AND OSHANE XIMINES. IN ALL SERIOUSNESS THE GIANTS DEFENSE IS PLAYING EXTREMELY HARD AND EXTREMELY SMART AND IT’S TURNED INTO POSITIVE RESULTS.
I DON’T KNOW IF NEW YORK’S EXPECTATIONS FOR THE SEASON SHOULD BE SERIOUSLY ALTERED. I’D SAY NO RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THEY COULD EASILY BE 0-2 IF A FEW PLAYS GO DIFFERENTLY. THE GIANTS OFFENSE HAS ALSO LACKED CONSISTENT POTENCY OTHER THAN A FEW EXPLOSIVE PLAYS. THE DEFENSIVE DEPTH CHART IS ALSO VERY THIN. BUT BIG BLUE NATION, SOAK IN THIS MOMENT. THE G-MEN ARE ATOP THE NFC EAST. THE NEXT TWO OPPONENTS ARE DALLAS AND CHICAGO AT HOME. 4-0 IS NOW A REAL POSSIBILITY. ENJOY THE GOOD VIBES WHILE THEY LAST.
The riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma that is Carson Wentz
Anyone who says they understand Carson Wentz is a fool. A stooge. A buffoon. Or hopefully they’re just lying.
The Carson Wentz experience is as follows: Great throw, pretty good throw, not-so-good throw, CARSON WHAT ARE YOU DOING, okay throw, good throw, CARSON WHAT. It’s a roller coaster that, despite many different stops and alleged renovations, produces the same highs and lows that it always has. That is Carson Wentz.
Sunday was no different. While there were a batch of really nice throws, there were a handful of head-scratchers. There were a couple of plays where it seemed as if someone had turned down Wentz’s pocket presence rating all the way to zero on Madden – one even ended up in a safety. There was another play right before the half where Wentz pump-faked but accidentally let go of the ball, nearly turning it over. Finally, on a double-pass, Wentz threw the ball as far as he could into no-man’s land that should’ve been intercepted.
This is exactly what Washington signed up for. Wentz certainly offers a higher ceiling than Taylor Heinicke, but the floor…the deep, dark, terrifying floor. Wentz hasn’t cost Washington a game yet; let’s check back in a few months from now to see if that eventually happens.
Amon-Ra St. Brown
Why did we ever doubt a man whose name means “Sun God?”
Against the Commanders on Sunday, St. Brown ran wild, racking up 184 yards from scrimmage to go along with nine receptions and two receiving touchdowns. That marks eight games in a row where St. Brown has registered at least eight catches (only the third player in NFL history to do so) as well as sixty yards dating back to last season. He’s also caught a touchdown in all but one of those games.
Just how awesome has St. Brown been for the Lions? He does two things really well; he gets open and catches the ball. In 2021, 28 players caught at least 75 passes, and only five had a catch percentage greater than 75%: St. Brown, Justin Jefferson, Hunter Renfrow, Chris Godwin and Dalton Schultz.
While his 70.8% clip through two games in 2022 is a slight drop-off from last season, St. Brown has looked every bit of a reliable top-target for the Lions.
All gifs credited to YARN