For this week’s NFL recap, I have once again decided to merge two things that I love very much; football and “The Office”. I believe that weaving in the incredible quotability of the NBC phenomenon with the highs and lows of NFL football will make for spectacular content. I take great joy in creating a world where Pam Beesly and Russell Wilson share a commonality, where Michael Scott has something to do with Patrick Mahomes. Oh, what a beautiful world that is.
“There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?” — Pam Beesly
Ordinary quarterbacks not playing so ordinary (in a good way)
We’re currently amidst an era of incredible quarterbacking. In fact, there’s a strong argument that the level of quarterback play league-wide is the highest the league has ever seen.
Now, you might think that the first piece of evidence to back up this claim is that the best of the best is the best it has ever been. On paper, that statement certainly holds weight. The upper-echelon of Patrick Mahomes, Josh Allen, Joe Burrow, Justin Herbert, Lamar Jackson and Trevor Lawrence are all incredible franchise talents, while the tier below of Jalen Hurts, Dak Prescott, Matthew Stafford and Tua Tagovailoa have been doing more than enough to uplift their respective offensive units. Even though some of the franchise talents like Allen, Burrow and Lawrence have had at least one porous performance thus far, the expectation is that they’ll return to their exceptional ways at some point soon.
However, there’s a reason I feel like people aren’t considering as much as to why the level of quarterbacking is so high: (almost) everyone else is playing pretty well, too! Outside of Justin Fields, Kenny Pickett and Zach Wilson, every other starting QB looks, at the very least, competent.
Let’s run through the tiers real quick. The slightly above-average QBs look good: Kirk Cousins completed over 72% of his passes for 708 yards and six touchdowns. Daniel Jones looked like a man of fire in the second half against the Cardinals. Geno Smith had a phenomenal game against the Lions yesterday, as he put himself in the company of Patrick Mahomes and…that was it.
All of the rookie starters look stellar thus far. CJ Stroud, who was touted as the arguably the most NFL-ready QB in the 2023 draft class, has looked NFL-ready, albeit some struggles under heavy pressure. It’s a shame that Anthony Richardson suffered a concussion on Sunday, because he was looking like a thunderous two-way weapon for the Colts, something the franchise has never had at quarterback. Bryce Young had a down game last week against the Falcons, but early indicators say that he’ll be alright. The new non-rookie/non-veteran starters – Sam Howell, Love and Ridder – have all looked comfortable, too.
Then, the muddled middle of veteran quarterbacks are playing pretty well, too. After a disastrous first week, Ryan Tannehill played incredibly against the Chargers by going back to his roots: play-action passing, where Tannehill went 7/9 for 168 yards and a touchdown according to Next Gen Stats. It’s how the Titans found success in 2018 and 2019, when they made the AFC Championship game and got the AFC’s one-seed in back-to-back seasons, respectively.
Jared Goff played clean football. Mac Jones looked solid considering that he has little time to throw to receivers that aren’t open very often. Joshua Dobbs (who hasn’t been in Arizona for a month, mind you) has had stretches of solid play, which included a vivacious touchdown stampede against the Giants. Gardner Minshew relieved an injured Anthony Richardson and looked like a starter. Derek Carr gutted out a victory over the Titans in Week 1 one with solid quarterbacking. Jimmy Garoppolo and Russell Wilson have each been frustrating at times, but at the very least, they’ve shown flashes of steady signal-calling.
Heck, Baker freakin’ Mayfield has looked good thus far. Against the Bears yesterday, he went 14/17 for 223 yards and a TD under pressure, which tied for the most passing yards under pressure in a game over the last four seasons according to Next Gen Stats. He did it with a little flair, too!
Now, this take could come crashing down very soon. The sample size is still very small; there’s a relatively high likelihood that at least some of these quarterbacks endure rough stretches at some point this season. For now, however, the league-wide depth at signal-caller is spectacular, and that should never be taken for granted.
“You’re not our most traditional guy, but something you are doing is right.” — David Wallace
The Falcons winning another funky game
I am of the belief that the Atlanta Falcons are incapable of playing a normal football game. They simply cannot sail smoothly for 60 consecutive minutes; even in wins (like Sunday’s against the Packers), their path to success is oftentimes confusing.
One example of this is Kyle Pitts, their supremely-talented pass-catcher who they just cannot seem to get the ball to. It was Pitts’ 36th career NFL game on Sunday, and his two-catch, 15-yard performance was the 12th time Pitts played a full game and registered two or fewer catches. While tight ends aren’t usually the focal points of an offense outside of a select few, a player as good as Pitts having two or fewer catches in a third of his games is still pretty astounding.
In fact, let’s play a quick game. Out of the list of players below, one did not have more receiving yards than Kyle Pitts on Sunday. Try to figure out who it is.
Calvin Broadus Jr.
Elijah Dotson
Rico Dowdle
Stone Smartt
Dontayvion Wicks
Kyren Williams
It’s quite the list, especially because there are at least a couple of guys on there that you’ve probably never heard of before. The one that didn’t have more receiving yards than Pitts on Sunday was Calvin Broadus Jr., and that’s because Calvin Broadus Jr. is actually just Snoop Dogg’s real name, and Snoop Dogg has never played a snap of NFL football.
Back to the game. Green Bay, for the most part, controlled the first three quarters of action. Jordan Love continued his promising start to the season, completing 14 of his first 19 passes for 151 yards and three touchdowns. While he couldn’t find much success on deep looks, he was efficient on short and intermediate passing plays and made the easy throws look easy. Even without Aaron Jones, Christian Watson and David Bakhtiari, Love looked rock solid once again.
Then, the wheels suddenly came off. The Packers went three-and-out on back-to-back possessions in the fourth quarter, and after Younghoe Koo gave the Falcons the lead with 57 seconds left in regulation, Love couldn’t respond, and the Falcons are 2-0 for the first time since 2017.
Atlanta continues to defy what should be possible with the team that they have. Even though Desmond Ridder has looked shaky a handful of times, their best skill players aren’t as involved as you might think, and their defense is far from stout, they’ve seemed to figure it out when games have mattered the most.
That sentiment was exemplified on the drive that set up Koo’s game-winner. Drake London, Mack Hollins and Bijan Robinson all had huge catches, and on a gamble by Arthur Smith, Robinson picked up a crucial fourth-down conversion to bleed the clock even more.
Speaking of Robinson, he already established himself as one of the game’s best running backs in just two games. When he runs, it feels…different. The Falcons would never do this, but I would love if Robinson got 30+ carries per game so we can all watch him run more.
“You know, it’s not easy getting excited about stuff.” — Michael Scott
Denver’s Hail Mary that was all for naught
The Broncos totally deserved to lose this game. After going up 21-3, Washington scored on five of their last seven drives, while Denver’s offense sputtered over the final two-and-a-half quarters. The vibes in Mile High Stadium were low in the second half and have been low since the start of last season.
Then, this happened…
It was a wildly impressive throw from Russell Wilson, who knows a thing or two about dumb Hail Mary’s. Commanders linebacker Cody Barton looked like he might’ve gotten a piece of the throw initially, but Wilson was able to clear him.
Here’s the thing about buzzer-beating Hail Marys: the usual reaction is boundless joy. Your team’s quarterback threw a prayer as high and far as he could, and by some divine physics, someone with the same colored jersey as the quarterback caught the pass in the end zone. That usually constitutes a universal reaction of “oh my gosh, we’re about to win this game.”
That is, unless you have to go for two to keep the game alive, and the conversion attempt is marred by a missed pass-interference call.
Someone needs to burn a sage in Mile High Stadium to eradicate the still-present negativity ghosts of 2022. While Wilson still looked eccentric and was also sacked seven times, he looks a lot better than whatever last year was, as he was able to connect with Marvin Mims Jr. a couple of times for huge gains over the air. But sometimes, the higher football powers are unforgiving. Unfortunately for Broncos fans, it has that way for awhile, and it doesn’t seem to be changing anytime soon.
“You are a thief of joy.” — Michael Scott
Cole Strange was close enough!
The Dolphins were the better team on Sunday night. If we were basing who deserved to win solely off of on-field performance, the Dolphins deserved to win. However, if we’re basing who deserved to at least have a better chance to win at the end of the game, it was the Patriots.
Needing to convert a 4th-and-4 to keep the game alive, Mike Gesicki caught an out route about a yard short of the first down marker and was wrapped up by Justin Bethel. Knowing that he couldn’t move any further forward, Gesicki lateraled the ball backwards into a gaggle of Patriots offensive lineman. With the ball in the air, the most athletic o-lineman of the bunch, Cole Strange, turned into an Olympian and looked like he picked up a miraculous first down.
Perhaps Gesicki remembered that laterals can work out pretty well, as he was a rookie on the Dolphins when they pulled off the “Miracle in Miami” back in 2018. Maybe he learned a few tips on lateraling from teammate Hunter Henry, who pulled off one of the most insane lateral plays I’ve ever seen when he was at Arkansas. Even if he already had the mental wherewithal to keep New England’s hopes alive rugby-style, it was an awesome play to extend the game.
Well, at least we thought he had extended the game, until the referees reviewed the play and determined that there was enough conclusive evidence to overturn the call on the field. Strange was ruled short, and Miami kneeled out the clock to move to 2-0.
Here’s a closer look at the play.
(Tony Romo voice) uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh I don’t know Jim! That doesn’t look very conclusive to me!
This is like when a nasty poster dunk in basketball is waved off because of a charge. While the call is, by rule, correct most of the time…poster dunks are way too cool not to count! Coolness should always overrule the actual rulebook!
I’m also continuously baffled as to how NFL replay/downs technology hasn’t been advanced. Soccer has it figured out with “goal-line technology” that detects whether a pixel of the ball crossed the goal-line or not. Tennis has Hawk-Eye technology that can detect whether a shot was in or out by the pixel. The NFL, meanwhile, still has human-controlled down-and-distance markers, and the ball is spotted by human referees who, although they’re usually exceptional at their job, are simply making judgment calls that aren’t 100% accurate. Although replay reviews certainly help see what truly happened on a play, the end result is still a judgment call by a mistake-prone human being.
There also isn’t any good argument for keeping chain measurements the way they are. New York Giants president and NFL competition committee member John Mara, a known traditionalist, had this to say about chain measurements in a 2008 New York Times column:
“There’s a certain amount of drama that is involved with the chains,” Mara said. “Yes, it is subject to human error, just like anything else is. But I think it’s one of the traditions that we have in the game, and I don’t think any of us have felt a real compelling need to make a change.”
Drama and tradition. That is quite possibly the most NFL answer regarding this topic you will ever hear.
I’ll make a concession: if the call on the field was that Strange was short, it likely would’ve been upheld. However, the referees shouldn’t have to make that distinction themselves; some sort of advanced replay technology should be in charge of making that determination. It’s very possible that a lack of modernization cost Cole Strange even more sweet glory, and that’s a darn shame.
“I’m not saying I’m Superman but, let me just put it this way: if I were shot in the head, I’m pretty sure everything would be fine.” — DeAngelo Vickers
The cardiac Giants pulling off miracles in Arizona (again)
I was fully prepared to quote another poem about sadness. At halftime on Sunday, the Giants were losing 60-0 on aggregate to start the year, and when they went down 28-7 in the third quarter, they had been outscored 98-7 dating back to the Divisional Round disaster against the Eagles last season. No team had gone scoreless in the first six quarters of a season since the 1992 Patriots, who started four different quarterbacks en route to a 2-14 season.
Then, the winning spirit of ‘08 kicked in. The Giants, who were in their 2021 era during the first half (Jones looking like a deer in headlights, lack of receiver separation, overmatched on defense), rediscovered themselves in the second half. Jones had time to throw and hitreceivers who were actually open. Blitzes were getting home, and Cardinals receivers were well-covered. On a field that saw the G-Men make magic before, they did it again on Sunday.
The most impressive turnaround came from Jones, who not only captained the second-half surge, but did so with unprecedented efficiency and production.
It genuinely looked like Jones underwent a Captain America-esque transformation at halftime. In the first two quarters, Jones couldn’t get into any sort of rhythm throwing the ball. He struggled with accuracy, missed open receivers and looked uncomfortable.
In the last two quarters, Jones looked like he took an injection of confidence at halftime. He looked steady, assured and, quite honestly, looked like he has been playing football for longer than four seasons. It started with a rainbow to Jalin Hyatt, who Jones missed in the first half on what would’ve been a huge gain over the air.
This was mostly a foreign sight last season, and is also a big reason why the Giants drafted Hyatt. They didn’t have a receiver who could consistently take the top off of defenses, and the crux of New York’s offense centered around rollouts and short throws, as evidenced by Jones’ 6.4 intended air yards/pass attempt (T-31st; only Matt Ryan had a lower number). While the Giants didn’t have a very explosive offense – only the Bears had fewer explosive passing plays in 2022 – it made quarterbacking a lot easier for Jones, who was able to find open receivers and use his legs a lot more often than he did under Pat Shurmur and Joe Judge.
With Arizona’s surprisingly stout front seven facing a Giants offensive line without Andrew Thomas, I expected some version of the aforementioned offense to show up, especially because Jones and the rest of the Giants offense needed to establish some sort of rhythm after last week’s horror-fest against the Cowboys.
Instead, they did the opposite. While necessity had a lot to do with New York becoming ultra-aggressive over the air, it was still a welcome sight to see Jones consistently taking shots 10-15+ yards down the field and completing most of them. Not only that, a handful of receivers were heavily involved. Hyatt, Darren Waller, Darius Slayton, Isaiah Hodgins and Saquon Barkley all had huge catches.
I’m still conflicted on how to feel about all of this. On one hand, the Giants got thoroughly outplayed by the Cardinals in pretty much every aspect of the game through the first two quarters of play. On the other hand, the Giants completely dominated the Cardinals in pretty much every aspect of the game through the final two quarters of play. While they showed a floor of letting Joshua Dobbs and Michael Wilson dice them up, they also showed a ceiling of having well-oiled machines on both sides of the ball that powered a 21-point second-half comeback.
I’m still a little iffy about how they’ll look against an actual well-oiled machine in the 49ers on Thursday, especially considering that Barkley’s now dealing with an ankle sprain. Nevertheless, it’s nice to know that the Giants have this kind of resilience within them.
“This is not the face of a performer. This is the face of a scary apparition you see before you die.” — Dwight Schrute
Micah Parsons reigning terror on a helpless Jets offense
In sports, there are a select few players who invoke real fear by simply existing.
I think it’s safe to say that Micah Parsons is very much a part of that list.
While I watched Parsons destroy Zach Wilson & Co. all afternoon off the edge, it made me think of a SportsCenter feature on Jadeveon Clowney that was run a decade ago. For those who didn’t follow college football then or don’t remember, peak college Jadeveon Clowney was the equivalent of if LeBron James played defensive end. He was a physical force of nature that was oftentimes too much for opposing offensive lineman to handle.
Anyways, here’s the beginning of the feature. It spotlights three actors playing opposing quarterbacks having nightmares about Clowney. Try to ignore the unorthodox sleeping arrangements and the actors looking funny while trying to cosplay getting sacked.
This is what I feel like Micah Parsons actually is to opposing teams. He’s a legitimate nightmare-inducer because he can literally do whatever he wants. He has to be paid attention to at all times, and even so, he can just do stuff like this. Just the ultimate day-ruiner for an offensive coordinator.
Even if you gain positive yardage, he can do even crazier stuff like this.
“I’m just hungry,” Parsons said after the game. “I don’t care if I’m gassed out. Mind over matter.”
Moving Parsons to defensive end may bethe most impactful move of the offseason for the Cowboys. When Parsons was coming out of Penn State in 2021, draft people acknowledged how bonkers of an athlete he was and how impressive he was rushing the passer. However, many paused at the thought of how impactful he could actually be as an off-ball linebacker. Turns out that playing to his strengths was a pretty swell idea.
Next Sunday, the Cowboys take on the Cardinals, who have one of the worst offensive lines in the league. Parsons might break the single-game sack record; talk about someone who has fire in their gut! If he doesn’t, he’ll probably just make life miserable for the opposition, just like he has for a while.