By Justin Parmer
College Football. Home to the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. If we have learned anything from this past weekend’s sets of games, it’s that the Mountain West does in fact exist and that we should all just give the SEC East crown to Georgia already. Really though, the eliminator is serious. Georgia was the only team to actually show up to play football this weekend out of the seven SEC East schools. But the eliminator digresses and brings you who stayed alive, who is on thin ice going forward and who had their college football playoff chances slammed shut in the first week of college football’s 150th season. 
Regular Season Elimination Method
Group-of-five Method (and any independent not named Notre Dame)

• Suffering a single loss on the season

Power-five Method (and Notre Dame)

• Losing two games
• Losing to a group-of-five school
• Losing to an FCS school or lower
• Losing a game by 30 or more points.

Teams remaining safe (53)
AAC (3)
Cincinnati, NavyC, Tulane,
ACC (8)
Boston College, Clemson, Louisville, North Carolina, North Carolina State, Syracuse, Virginia, Wake Forest
Big Ten (12)
Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Maryland, Michigan, Michigan State, Minnesota, Nebraska, Ohio State, Penn State, Rutgers, Wisconsin
Big 12 (10) 
All teams remain
MAC (2)
Northern Illinois, Western Michigan
PAC Twelve (8)
Arizona State, California, Colorado, Stanford, USC, Utah, Washington, Washington State
SEC (9)
Alabama, LSU, Texas A&M, Auburn, Mississippi State, Arkansas, Georgia, Florida, Kentucky,
Independents (1)
Notre Dame
On the brink of elimination (8)
Miami (0-1)
Nothing new here, other than the fact that half of the Atlantic Coastal division joined Miami in the pit of misery this week. For those who know college football, this should come as a shock to nobody.
Northwestern (0-1)
It was as simple as can be for the Wildcats. They were simply outplayed and outmatched against Stanford at every turn. However, the eliminator suspects that if these teams were to play in December or January, the game could go a different way. Why?
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: Northwestern has failed to get off on the right foot. And the schedule only gets worse from here on out.
Besides getting a dance with UNLV at home, the Wildcats get the honor of facing not one, not two, not three, not four, but five AP ranked opponents in a row through late September and October. At they’ll have a buy in week seven to prepare for a date with Ohio State and a trip to Iowa.
Northwestern is not out of the fight yet, especially if they are to run the table the rest of the way, but that would require going through the toughest six week stretch in the Big Ten and maybe even the toughest six week stretch in the FBS.
Oregon (0-1)
“War Damn Eagle:” those words are going to haunt Duck fans for the next three months. Oregon proved to be a top contender for the Pac 12 with the success they had in Arlington, Texas.
This was one of those games where one team unfortunately had to lose. While Oregon had the better first half, it was the Tigers who had all the momentum in the second half. And that was all the Tigers needed to get the victory.
What the Ducks has, however, as a consolation prize is a clear road leading back toward the hunt for the title. They’ve done it before back in 2014, and they could do it again. The only problem is Oregon’s remaining non-conference schedule.
Now they have to deal with the lack of a quality non-conference game. A big reason why Oregon was able to get into the inaugural playoff field in 2014 was its victory against at the time no. 7 Michigan State. Without that quality win, the Ducks might have been relegated back into the argument of the fourth and final spot with Ohio State and the Big 12 teams. Now, if Oregon wants to make it back, they’ll have to rely on their conference rivals to help them out. Easier said than done in the Pac 12
With both Washington’s dominant showing and Stanford taking care of Northwestern, the Pac 12 looks like it might be the fourth best conference in the FBS this season. Oregon will need these teams to keep winning going forward if they want to have a shot at returning to the National Championship game come January.
Oregon State (0-1)
Oregon State really tried keeping up with the Big 12 style of play. They must have forgotten that yes, Oklahoma State is a power five school, and yes, Oklahoma State knows how to beat teams that play Big 12 ball. They have a masters thesis in it after all.
As for the Beavers … well, let’s face it, their best-case scenario is getting to week five on this list and then getting kicked to the curb by Stanford. Even then, the eliminator is not sure Oregon State can even beat Hawaii in the Aloha state.
Even if the Beavers do get past Hawaii and Stanford, UCLA, Utah, Washington, Washington State and rival Oregon lurk in the corner. The eliminator has a seat prepared for Oregon State.
Pittsburgh (0-1)
The eliminator has nothing to say here. Pittsburgh had the lead at halftime against the Cavaliers and couldn’t capitalize in the second. In other news, this is your average Saturday for Panther fans. Move along everyone, nothing to see here.
South Carolina (0-1)
You guys lost to North Carolina. North Carolina! Also known as the worst team in the ACC for the past two years. There is no excuse for the Gamecocks, and they only have themselves to blame for that collapse.
The eliminator ought to put this team out of its misery, but unfortunately for the South Carolina fans, the eliminator doesn’t have a category for “losing to North Carolina.”  The eliminator will just have to wait for the inevitable beat down Alabama is going to put on this team. With the way South Carolina performed on Saturday, this team won’t even sniff a bowl game this season.
Can this team get into the fight? If they have run the table the rest of the way, that loss to UNC will certainly be forgiven. If it were even possible for South Carolina to run the table, they should just be given the national title right after the ACC championship game. Will South Carolina go 12-1? Absolutely not.
Vanderbilt (0-1)
Hey, somebody had to be the bulldog’s chew toy. Vanderbilt just so happened to be the one selected for the sacrifice. But while the Bulldogs cooled the jets after the second quarter, they failed to finish Vanderbilt for good. With their 6 points earned and the backups coming out, the Commodores escaped with their playoff hopes alive … for now.  
Virginia Tech (0-1)
The Hookies put up one heck of a fight against Boston College. The difference between victory and defeat was turnovers; Boston College committed one turnover, the Hookies committed five. That cannot, and will not, get the Hookies anywhere the postseason.
Luckily for Virginia Tech, they’ll have two opportunities to clean the turnovers up to by facing cupcakes Old Dominion and Furman before facing Duke in week five. Expect the Hookies to stick on the bubble for a few weeks.
Eliminated (12)
FAU (0-1)
Method of elimination: Loss
FAU, the eliminator thanks you for your sacrifice to Ohio State week one. You managed to make your loss respectable to the Buckeye juggernaut. Exit stage left, your participation trophy is on the table and good luck fighting for the MAC title this season.
Houston
Method of elimination: Loss
Houston, the eliminator thanks you for your sacrifice to the Oklahoma juggernaut. You also managed to make your loss respectable to the Sooners. When you only lose to Oklahoma by less than three possessions it should be a good night for the Cougars. Exit stage right, your participation trophy is also on the table and you’ll probably be brought up into the playoff conversation for whatever reason come week ten.
Kent State (0-1)
Method of elimination: Loss
Out of all the teams to be eliminated to the loss category, Kent State went out the worse. Not in a blaze of glory or fighting to the very end for a shot at keeping their playoff hopes alive, but a whimper. This team wasn’t going to make the postseason, but it was sad to see them go out like that.
Miami (OH) (0-1)
Method of elimination: Loss
The eliminator will give credit where credit is due. Miami fought hard to pull of the upset against the Hawkeyes, only being down by three at halftime. Once Iowa figured out the RedHawks’ plan, the wheels fell off. It wasn’t likely that this team would make it in, but the eliminator would have enjoyed the chaos caused by this game had the Miami surprised the Hawkeyes. Good luck the rest of the way Miami. 
Middle Tennessee (0-1)
Method of elimination: Loss
Middle Tennessee, the eliminator thanks you for your sacrifice inside the Big House. You also managed to make your loss respectable to the Wolverines despite being tossed around like a rag doll all game long. Exit stage right, your participation trophy is also on the table. The best news the eliminator can provide is that your team wasn’t beaten as bad compared to what is going to become of the Rutgers come week five.
Florida State (0-1)
Method of elimination: Non-Power-five loss
Yes, the eliminator knows how good Boise State is. Yes, the Eliminator knows that game could have gone either way. But there are two reasons behind the choice to execute the Seminoles. The first and foremost was that the Seminoles choked that game and choked hard. The Seminoles dominated the first quarter and failed to do anything with it for the rest of the game.
The second reason is just a matter of principle. Just because Florida State lost to one of the best non-Power-five teams in the nation doesn’t excuse the Seminoles from the non-Power-five rule established at the beginning of the season. Hey, the eliminator has to hold everyone accountable to the stupidity of only having 3% of teams make the postseason and putting the college football landscape into the haves and the have-nots.
Mississippi (0-1)
Method of elimination: Non-Power-five loss
Sorry Ole Miss fans, but like Florida State this eliminator doesn’t hand out exceptions for losing to one of the best non-Power-five programs in the nation. Seriously though, how did Ole Miss give up a safety to Memphis? That’s just embarrassing. The eliminator doesn’t have anything to comfort you Rebels. Have fun being weeded out by the toughest division in all of college football. Also known as the SEC West.
Purdue (0-1)
Method of elimination: Non-Power-five loss
There is no other way to put it: that was a choke. A team that was up 24-7 at halftime somehow found a way to take a golden opportunity to win a non-conference game and smash it into to the boiler.
When a team gives up five turnovers that team will, and deserves, to lose. Any hope Boilmaker fans had going into the season should officially be crushed.
Tennessee (0-1)
Method of elimination: Non-Power-five loss
Rocky Top lost to Georgia State, a team that went 2-10 last season, in a home game.
Oh, Rocky Top, you’ll always be
A disappointment to me
Typical ol’ Rocky Top (whoo)
A disappointment to the S-E-C!!!
UCLA (0-1)
Method of elimination: Non-Power-five loss
UCLA couldn’t simply handle the Bearcats of Cincinnati. Wasn’t Chip Kelly supposed to be a good head coach? Right now, all the eliminator sees out of UCLA is a loss to a non-Power-five school. Its gonna be a long five years for the Bruins, isn’t it?
Duke (0-1)
Method of elimination: Blowout
Well Duke, you kept it within striking distance for one quarter against the national runner-up in Atlanta. Unfortunately for the Blue Devils, ‘Bama figured out quickly that they were in fact playing Duke Football instead of Duke Basketball and proceeded to hand out the whooping everyone was expecting.
By the fourth quarter started, Bama had already sent Duke to the eliminator’s execution chamber. Not that any Duke fan cares anyway. After all, basketball season starts up in three months. We’ll see you then Blue Devil fans.
Georgia Tech (0-1)
Method of elimination: Blowout
Georgia Tech wasn’t really much of a favorite coming into the season anyways, and somebody had to play the national champions first. This one was over by halftime and Clemson called off the pressure out of sympathy. Better luck next year Yellow Jackets.
Bonus Elimination:
Missouri (0-1)
Method of elimination: Non-Power-five loss
Missouri was already eliminated before the regular season due to a bowl ban, but with their loss to Wyoming on Saturday, the Tigers won’t be making it on to the “teams still alive” category any time soon. The legacy of failure rolls on for another year of disappointment and heavy underachieving.
Total Number of teams eliminated: 69 (54% of teams eliminated)
Elimination games
The following games are elimination games, because no matter who wins, one team will meet a criteria that will deem them unworthy of entering the college football playoffs. Here are the elimination games for week two. All times are eastern standard time.
9/7 Cincinnati vs Ohio State (12:00 PM)
9/7 Northern Illinois vs Utah (1:00 PM)
9/7 Tulane vs Auburn (7:30 PM)
9/7 Western Michigan vs Michigan State (7:30 PM)
Previously eliminated
Week zero:
Arizona (Pac 12)
Preseason:
Connecticut (AAC)
East Carolina (AAC)
Memphis (AAC)
SMU(AAC)
Temple(AAC)
UCF(AAC)
Alabama-Birmingham (Conference USA)
Charlotte (Conference USA)
Florida International (Conference USA)
Louisiana Tech (Conference USA)
Marshall (Conference USA)
North Texas (Conference USA)
Rice (Conference USA)
Southern Mississippi (Conference USA)
Texas San-Antonio (Conference USA)
Western Kentucky (Conference USA)
Akron (MAC)
Ball State (MAC)
Bowling Green (MAC)
Buffalo (MAC)
Central Michigan (MAC)
Eastern Michigan (MAC)
Ohio (MAC)
Toledo (MAC)
Air Force (Mountain West)
Boise State (Mountain West)
Colorado State (Mountain West)
Fresno State (Mountain West)
Hawaii (Mountain West)
Nevada (Mountain West)
New Mexico State (Mountain West)
San Jose State (Mountain West)
UNLV (Mountain West)
Utah State (Mountain West)
Wyoming (Mountain West)
Missouri (SEC)*
Appalachian State (Sun Belt)
Arkansas State (Sun Belt)
Coastal Carolina (Sun Belt)
Georgia State (Sun Belt)
Georgia Southern (Sun Belt)
Louisiana(Sun Belt)
Louisiana Monroe (Sun Belt)
South Alabama (Sun Belt)
Troy (Sun Belt)
Texas State (Sun Belt)
Army (Independent)
BYU (Independent)
Liberty (Independent)
New Mexico State (Independent)
UMass (Independent)
*Missouri is bowl ineligible but is currently in the appeals process.
Edited by Emma Moloney | [email protected]