It’s officially December 1st, which means by rule of the United States Constitution and previously passed UN resolutions, it is now Christmas season. As a radio DJ (don’t tell anyone), I am now required to play Christmas music on the airwaves or face criminal prosecution and subsequently travel to The Hague to face an international court. Instead of playing the classic Mariah Carey and Michael Bublé albums, now’s a better time than ever to diversify the Christmas playlist and introduce some new holiday tunes into the fold. That’s why I’ve conducted months of focus groups and independent research to compile five Christmas albums that’ll be sure to spark conversation with family and friends. 

1 – CeeLo Green – CeeLo’s Magic Moment (2012)

Remember CeeLo? Me neither, but he certainly does have his own Christmas album and that cannot be denied. The album includes cameos from the likes of Rod Stewart, Christina Aguilera and The Muppets themselves, who I heard brought an intensity to the recording studio that led to an intense brew-ha-ha between Green and Kermit. If you’re currently trying to imagine what a CeeLo Christmas album would sound like, it’s exactly as you’d expect. It has 2012 all over it, and that’s all I’m thankful for this holiday season. With a range of original tracks such as ‘Silent Night’, ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ and ‘White Christmas’, this album is guaranteed to delight the whole family. 

2 – David Hasselhoff – The Night Before Christmas (2004)

Germans love David Hasselhoff. Additionally, baby boomers still have a soft spot for the former Baywatch star, and what better way to take a trip down memory lane than to revisit his Christmas album. My favorite part of this album is how overpowering the backup vocals are, as if they’re trying to cover up something. What fascinated me most about this album was that not only does it exist in the first place, but Hasselhoff has been releasing music as recent as 2021 with his newest album “Party Your Hasselhoff.” Despite the NSFW title, the album still has some classic covers that I’m sure I’ll review one day for this blog if I’m allowed. With a range of original tracks such as ‘Silent Night’ and ‘White Christmas’, this album is guaranteed to delight the whole family as much as CeeLo’s album (hold on a minute…). 

3 – Regis Philbin – The Regis Philbin Christmas Album (2005)

The Regis Philbin Christmas Album by Regis Philbin features Regis Philbin getting into the holiday spirit the only way Regis Philbin knows how (Regis Philbin, Regis Philbin). Interwoven with trivia questions with cash prizes*, this particular album should engross the whole family while also making you think. With a range of original tracks such as ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ and ‘White Christmas’, this album is guaranteed to delight the whole family just like the other albums already listed (Oh come on, is nothing original anymore??). 

*It isn’t, but it’s not like you were going to listen to the whole thing to prove me wrong, weren’t you?

4 – 100 GECS – 1000 GECS (2019)

Do it. I dare you to play this in front of grandma. I bet you won’t. Coward. 

5 – William Shatner – Shatner Claus (2018)

I’ve crunched the numbers, and this album would have been released when Shatner was 87 years old. What a remarkable time in your life to dive into the Christmas scene. This collection of duets with the likes of Iggy Pop and Brad Paisley, among others, is bound to make the family say “is this that nice man from Star Trek?” The real star of this album is whoever put the closed captions together for the ‘Silent Night’ recording done with Iggy Pop (just listen, trust me). With a range of original tracks such as ‘Silent’ and ‘White Christmas’, this album is guaranteed to delight the whole family just like the other albums already listed (That’s it, I give up). 

It’s been a pleasure compiling this list of five new Christmas albums to throw into the rotation. After all, isn’t this what Christmas is all about? Receiving gifts, being surrounded by confused loved ones, and of course finally getting that wooden rocking horse you’ve always wanted (Mom, I know you’re reading this). It’s time to shake things up in a non-political way this Christmas. The Bublés of the world have had their fun. Finally, we’re giving the likes of Regis Philbin and David Hasselhoff a platform to be heard.