For this week’s NFL recap, I have once again decided to merge two things that I love very much; football and “The Office”. I believe that weaving in the incredible quotability of the NBC phenomenon with the highs and lows of NFL football will make for spectacular content. I take great joy in creating a world where Pam Beesly and Russell Wilson share a commonality, where Michael Scott has something to do with Patrick Mahomes. Oh, what a beautiful world that is.*
*This column was written prior to the Damar Hamlin injury. While this column covers Sunday’s most notable NFL action, the top priority on everyone’s minds should be hoping that Hamlin is ok.
I initially postponed this week’s column because I wanted to write something about Bills-Bengals. It was going to be a primetime battle between two AFC titans with playoff seeding on the line. This was to be one of the most important games of the season.
None of that matters anymore.
In case you haven’t seen or heard, Bills safety Damar Hamlin collapsed on the field after making a tackle on Bengals wide receiver Tee Higgins in the first quarter of Monday night’s contest. He was given CPR and was eventually taken to the University of Cincinnati Medical Center via ambulance. The game was ultimately suspended, as both teams agreed that continuing on was not in anyone’s best interest considering the circumstances. The latest update the general public has been given is that Hamlin suffered a cardiac arrest and is in critical condition.
This is undoubtedly one of the scariest incidents that’s ever occurred on a football field. As trainers tended to Hamlin, something felt wrong. It’s that feeling in your gut where you know the situation in front of you isn’t normal. When an ambulance came onto the field as Bills players were weeping over their fallen teammate, that’s when the football game became anything but important.
There’s a lot to talk about regarding this tragedy, and I’m probably not going to get to all of it. But the people that did get to seemingly all of it were the wonderful people at ESPN, each of whom deserve a lifetime’s worth of kudos for their coverage of the tragedy. Everyone who appeared on air either provided valuable insight on the situation or engaged in honest, thoughtful and non-speculative conversation regarding Hamlin, all while fighting back natural human emotions under heart-wrenching circumstances. Their coverage was a masterclass in broadcasting and reporting after a tragedy, and for that, the journalism community cannot thank them enough for their outstanding work.
Monday night was a reminder of the risks football players take every time they step onto the field. How a seemingly routine play can be life-altering. How the matter of life and death can appear so quickly and have such a terrifying impact on those affected by it. Professional athletes can appear as almost God-like figures who are unfazed by any externalities, unable to display feelings that regular people might experience. It can feel like there’s an emotional boundary between normal humans and professional athletes; on Monday night, that boundary disappeared. Everyone involved became human, as everyone should be all the time.
It was also a startling reminder of how fragile life is. Hamlin woke up on Monday morning likely feeling happily eager to play in one of the biggest games of his life. He probably greeted his coaches and teammates with immense excitement, as he probably had throughout the season. Hamlin is a wonderful human being, a healthy 24-year old in world-class shape working a job he’d likely dreamed of working since he was little. He had a life of great health, success and happiness ahead of him. Now, that life is far from certain.
As we continue to hope and pray for Hamlin and his loved ones, tell your loved ones you love them. If you’re able to, give them a hug. Every once in a while, take a moment and be thankful that you get to live. Cherish even the simplest moments, because those moments are finite. Tomorrow is never guaranteed.
Thank you for reading. Enjoy the rest of the column.
“It is a message. It is an inspiration. It is a source of beauty.” — Michael Scott
The playoff-bound New York Football Giants
Hope. Hope is the double-edged sword of feelings. On one hand, hope is fuel that keeps us going even in the darkest of times; no matter the situation, hope is always there to provide at least a thought of something better in the future, whatever that may be. Conversely, hope can be a false happiness, a glorious space rocket that’s ruthlessly shot down by society.
Regarding sports, especially for fan bases of struggling sports franchises, hope stinks. Before every sports season begins, fans launch that rocket, hoping it lands in the promised land of a championship or, for lesser franchises, mere progress. We hope that our team’s top draft pick becomes a star. We hope that the new head coach will be better than the last one. We hope that our team stays healthy.
As a New York sports fan, I’ve become increasingly anti-hope over the years, except for my friend’s dog whose name is Hope. That Hope is very cute and brings joy to all those lucky enough to pet her.
One of those struggling franchises has very much included the Giants. Since they won the Super Bowl in 2011 (technically 2012), they’d only made one playoff appearance heading into 2022, one that was doomed by a boat and Aaron Rodgers. Throughout the decade, Big Blue supporters have had hopes of success eviscerated year after year. Numerous factors played into that, including poor coaching, way too many draft picks not panning out, an obscene amount of injuries, the aforementioned boat and refusals to both tank and let go of a clearly declining Eli Manning.
Prior to this season, hope was once again abundant in East Rutherford. This time, however, hope has turned into positive results, as the Giants are heading to the playoffs for just the second time since 2012 with a 38-10 blowout of the Colts. Sunday’s clincher against Indianapolis was expected – the Colts look completely disheveled – but the Giants kicked their butts, something they don’t do very often. Their last victory of at least 28 points came all the way back in 2014, and they had just five 20+ points victories since 2013.
Once again, Daniel Jones looked like a quality, dual-threat NFL quarterback. Jones completed almost 80% of his passes and was involved in four total touchdowns, including two on the ground. He even got a standing ovation from a cheerful MetLife Stadium when he was subbed out for Tyrod Taylor in the fourth quarter.
Elsewhere, Richie James and Isaiah Hodgins both caught touchdowns, as the two castoffs from Super Bowl contending teams continue to excel in elevated roles. Defensively, despite struggles defending the run, Kayvon Thibodeaux and Dexter Lawrence dominated once again, reigning terror on passing downs like Michael Strahan and Fred Robbins did back in the day. Even Landon Collins, the former Giants Pro Bowl safety-turned-linebacker, turned back the clock on an electric pick-six.
Even if New York’s prospective playoff run is short-lived, there’s something in East Rutherford that hasn’t been there in a long time: progress. For years, the Giants have been mired in mediocrity with seemingly no ways to escape. Now, a foundation for long-term success has been built. Players are being put in positions to succeed; the Giants coaching staff is maximizing talent instead of minimizing it. Players seem to enjoy playing with each other unlike much of anything I’ve seen before. This isn’t a team I’d like to see in the playoffs.
For what seemed like forever, Giants fans simply hoped for progress, only for those hopes to be dashed by deflating, directionless losing seasons. Now, the only thing the Giants can hope for is that this winning foundation remains intact for many years to come.
“Why is he even here?” — Michael Scott
Carson Wentz’s catastrophically terrible afternoon
No, really, why is Carson Wentz here?
The Eagles were eager to get rid of him after a disastrous 2020 season, and the Colts were equally as eager to trade him after last season that ended in Wentz single-handedly sinking the Colts’ playoff hopes in a Week 18 meltdown against the 3-14 Jaguars. There was a large sample size of Wentz playing extremely poorly, but that didn’t stop the Commanders from sacrificing two mid-round picks for Wentz in hopes that his ceiling would outweigh his floor to lead Washington back to the playoffs.
While the ceiling might still be a couple of stories high – Wentz led a 21-play touchdown drive and made a few quality throws on Sunday – the floor has officially disappeared beneath the ocean floor.
With the Commanders needing a win to keep their postseason hopes alive, the Commanders turned to Wentz after Taylor Heinicke had been turning the ball over quite frequently. However, the biggest reason why the Eagles let go of Wentz and why the Commanders benched him for Heinicke (the established leader of Washington’s offense) earlier in the season was because of Wentz’s overly generous habit of consistently giving the ball to the other team. Irony!
Wentz’s afternoon went just about as expected and a little worse. He completed 19/28 passes, with three of them being to the opponent. His first interception was an ill-advised throw that was jumped by Denzel Ward, and the latter two picks were prayers into double coverage that were both snared by Grant Delpit. After the second interception, Washington fans loudly voiced their understandable displeasure for the subpar on-field product by telling their team’s coaching staff that they made the wrong decision regarding the most important position in football in the team’s biggest game of the season.
After the game, I decided to rewatch clips from Wentz’s spectacular 2017 season in order to figure out what exactly has diminished so greatly. My conclusion: many aspects of his game have gotten worse! The two that were most prominent, however, were his performance under pressure and his general decision-making.
Back in the good old days of five years ago, Wentz met pressure with poise and valiance. Opposing pass rushes would collapse the pocket, and Wentz would find ways to escape. It was a little Mahomes-ian. Now, that elusiveness has completely vanished. While injuries might have something to do with it, Wentz folds like a piece of paper when pressured more often than not. If the pocket ain’t clean, a positive gain will not be seen. I’ll be here all week.
Then, there’s the decision-making. It’s gone from pretty good to pretty completely very bad. I truly don’t know what’s changed within Wentz’s cranium since 2017, but it’s devolved into near hilarity.
The Commanders have officially been eliminated from the playoffs, which Ron Rivera didn’t know was possible until a reporter told him after the game. Seems like that’s a thing you should know as a head coach! Looking ahead to the offseason, Washington has almost $20 million in cap space plus their own first and second round picks. They have a few UFA’s they’d probably like to re-sign, such as Heinicke and Da’Ron Payne. If they want to take a chance on someone like Anthony Richardson in the draft, I wouldn’t be too opposed to that. However, building a strong all-around team around a decent quarterback a-la 49ers might be the best way to go, especially considering that the Commanders are at least decent at several different position groups.
For now, however, we must acknowledge the grave mistake Washington made in the most important game of their season. Playing your best players seems like a relatively easy thing to pull off, but for a franchise that’s comically screwed up countless simple things, perhaps we shouldn’t have been all that surprised.
“That’s the thing about bear attacks. They come when you least expect it.” — Dwight Schrute
The top two seeds in the NFC losing in deflating fashion
A couple of weeks ago, we saw one of the wildest weekends of football in recent memory. While this week wasn’t nearly as crazy, odd stuff definitely happened. Jarrett Stidham almost beat the 49ers after the Raiders strangely benched Derek Carr a few days prior. The Broncos almost beat the Chiefs. Heck, the Patriots offense even looked somewhat competent.
Yet nothing could’ve prepared me for the Eagles and Vikings losing in the ways they did. That’s the thing about the 2022 NFL season. Weird occurrences come when you least expect them.
In Philly, the Eagles could have clinched the NFC’s top seed with a victory over the Saints, a team who’s looked far inferior to the birds for all of this season. Their offense has ranked in the bottom half of essentially every major statistical category, and they were going up against one of the league’s best defenses, albeit them being a tad banged up in the secondary.
Well, the qualifier of “albeit” turned out to be pretty important, as the Red Rifle was rifling against a depleted Eagles secondary, completing his first 14 passes of the game, although #14 was caught by the other team. The Saints defense, who saw Marshon Lattimore suit up for the first time in over two months, forced four consecutive three-and-outs to start the game. It was the first time the Eagles had been shut out in a half since last year’s Wild Card wallopping against the Buccaneers.
The second half was more of the same. Outside of a monster AJ Brown touchdown and a few chunk plays, Gardner Minshew & Co. couldn’t get much going. Turns out having your dual-threat MVP quarterback is pretty helpful! To put the cherry on top, Lattimore read a Brown slant perfectly, intercepting Minshew for a game-sealing pick-six.
Week 18 has gotten a lot more interesting. With the loss and a Cowboys victory last Thursday night, the Eagles will now have to play their starters against the Giants, who are likely going to play their backups after clinching the NFC’s sixth seed. Although an Eagles win next Sunday is very likely, Philly can’t rest, because the Cowboys are likely going to beat the already-eliminated Commanders. Also, we’ve seen far crazier things happen this season. Should the Giants upset the Eagles and the Cowboys defeat the Commies, the NFC playoffs will run through either Dallas or San Francisco, while Philly will not only lose out on a bye, but will have to travel to Tampa Bay for their first do-or-die game. Three cheers for expanded playoffs!
In Green Bay, the Packers annihilated the Vikings 41-17 to put themselves in prime position for a miraculous playoff appearance. After starting the season 4-8, all the Packers have to do is defeat the Lions in Lambeau on Sunday to clinch the NFC’s final playoff spot.
The Packers defense completely shut down the Vikings offense. Kirk Cousins threw three interceptions, including a pick-six to Darnell Savage.
Justin Jefferson was also held to his worst single-game performance since his sophomore year at LSU, as he registered a single 15-yard catch on just five targets. Chances are that those playing in fantasy football championships had Jefferson on their team; heading into Week 17, Jefferson lead all pass-catchers in fantasy points, with the gap between him and the second highest-scoring receiver (Tyreek Hill) being over 37 PPR points. To those people: I am very sorry. As a gift of healing, here’s Jaire Alexander griddying in Jefferson’s face after forcing an incompletion.
This game saw a drastic schematic shift in Green Bay’s defense. During their Week 1 defeat in Minnesota, Jefferson tore up the Packers’ zone defense that saw defenders covering areas where no receivers resided. This time around, it felt like there were 15 green jerseys on the field. The pass rush got home frequently against a depleted Vikings offensive line, as the Packers hit Cousins eight times. Alexander completely locked up Jefferson guarding him man-to-man, something he inexplicably wasn’t tasked to do in Week 1.
For the Vikings, I’ve officially accepted that I have absolutely no idea what to make of them. They’re 12-4, yet have a worse point differential (-12) than the 6-10 Raiders (-5). That’s now two games where they’ve gotten destroyed on national television. If I’m a Giants fan (which I, coincidentally, happen to be), I’m rooting hard for a 49ers victory over the Cardinals next week. I’d much rather play Minnesota than San Francisco.
As stated earlier, the Packers clinch a playoff spot with a win over the Lions next week. During their four game winning streak, I’d like to say I have more confidence in them should they make the playoffs, but I’m not sure if I do. They beat the Bears and Rams by a combined 21 points, pounced on a concussed Tua Tagovailoa and stomped a very eccentric Vikings squad (this isn’t to take away a 24-point win over another professional football team. That is very impressive. But the Vikings are a total anomaly).
However, their defense has looked a lot stronger, their offense seems to have a heartbeat, and their playoff opponent (should they make it) would be either the Vikings, who they just torched, or the 49ers, who’d be starting a rookie at quarterback. Seems slightly favorable to me!
“I am one of the few people who looks hot eating a cupcake.” — Kelly Kapoor
Jake Camarda’s great escape
Few punters look good running with the football. Buccaneers rookie punter Jake Camarda is one of them.
Punters aren’t supposed to be fast; they don’t need to be. Unless a team wants to run an incessant amount of fake punts, 99.9% of a punter’s job is to catch a snap, take a few steps and kick the football, none of which involves running full speed. Even if a fake punt is called involving the punter, they’re most likely throwing the football.
Punters intentionally running with the football happens once every blue moon in both the NFL and college. Titans punter A.J. Trapasso pulled off a fake-kick behind-the-back 50-yard touchdown skedaddle in the 2009 Hall of Fame Game. Seahawks punter Jon Ryan entered Forrest Gump mode on a fake punt back in 2016, only to lose the ball and hurt himself at the end. Browns punter Reggie Hodges picked up 68 yards on a fake punt in 2010 that eventually led to a field goal. West Virginia iced the 2006 Sugar Bowl with a successful scamper by punter Phil Brady, and Arkansas punter Sam Irwin-Hill made a 51-yard house call against Texas A&M in 2014. Even in those successes, however, all five punters looked quite funny running with the ball. It was like watching baby deer try to accelerate.
On Sunday, with Tampa Bay leading Carolina by six with under 45 seconds remaining in regulation, Camarda just needed to get a clean punt off, and the Buccaneers would likely be on their way to their second consecutive division title. However, Camarda had (Sean McDonough voice) trouble with the snap! (Sorry not sorry, Michigan fans). Camarda couldn’t corral the ground ball hiked by long snapper Zach Triner, which meant he had to escape multiple Carolina rushers beelining into the area.
Most punters would’ve crumbled in this situation; for example, I already mentioned the infamous Michigan fumble that led to a game-winning touchdown for Michigan State. A few weeks ago, Giants punter Jamie Gillan dropped a snap and unsuccessfully kicked the ball off the ground, which is illegal. Although some punters are able to overcome bobbled snaps like Vanderbilt punter Tommy Openshaw did against Georgia in 2015, the result is usually negative when chaos befalls upon a punter.
Camarda, however, is different. Not only was he an awesome punter at Georgia, he’s fast. Like, really fast. The rookie clocked a 4.56 40-yard dash at this year’s combine, the fastest time ever recorded for a punter or kicker. Camarda’s time was faster than those of Dameon Pierce, Tyler Allgeier and David Bell, each of whom play positions that require being at least decently speedy. Watch Camarda on this fake field goal back in the 2020 Sugar Bowl. There’s some lightning in those legs!
As numerous Panther defenders were in pursuit, Camarda needed every tenth of a second possible to elude the rush. With the sideline nearing, Camarda needed to contort his body in a very unorthodox fashion while running very fast to simply give himself a chance of averting total disaster. While this seems like an incredibly difficult task, especially considering how goofy punters can look when they’re not punting under ideal circumstances, Camarda is the doer of difficult tasks, the breaker of boundaries when it comes to what a punter can and can’t do.
Not only did he actually make contact with the ball, the punt was incredible! This was un-ironically one of the most impressive feats of athleticism I’ve ever seen. The only negative about this play was that it didn’t even count! Amidst the chaos, the Buccaneers were called for having an illegal man downfield. HOWEVER, since Camarda’s miracle kick pinned Carolina inside the five, the Panthers had to accept the penalty; had Camarda failed to pull off a miracle, Carolina would’ve just declined the penalty and gotten the ball in Tampa Bay territory. The rookie might’ve literally saved his team’s season.
Camarda’s wondrous boot was the cherry on top of a wild afternoon for the Bucs. Tom Brady and Mike Evans resurrected themselves against a depleted Panthers secondary; prior to Sunday, Brady hadn’t had a touchdown pass that traveled over 30 yards in the air. Against Carolina, Brady had three, all of which landed in the waiting hands of Mike Evans. Their defense came up clutch in the end, and despite playing frustrating football for the entire season, Tampa Bay has claimed back-to-back NFC South crowns for the first time in franchise history.
As the Bucs prepare to host a playoff game against either the Cowboys or Eagles, I don’t feel too confident in their ability to defeat either of those teams. However, should another errant snap occur on a punt, I feel fairly confident in their punter’s ability to dodge disaster and perhaps make some magic happen.