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The Giants inflict conflicting feelings with a win over Washington 

The good

New York played its first mostly-complete game of the season in a 31-19 victory over Washington, who’ve weirdly been Big Blue’s punching bag over the past half-decade. If not for a questionable offsides penalty that allowed Dustin Hopkins a second chance at a game-winning kick back in 2021, the Giants would be 9-1-1 against Washington since 2018. 

Led by New York’s new Italian Stallion in Tommy DeVito, the Giants finally found some life on offense. Even though DeVito was in his Joe Burrow era by getting sacked nine times, he was also in his Joe Burrow era by coming up with huge completions amidst victory.   

However, the road underdogs couldn’t have emerged victorious without the defense, who forced six Washington takeaways (three fumbles, three interceptions). I’d say that’s pretty good!

Also, the Giants needed someone with Italian roots to start playing well, because a lot of their New York professional sports peers have one, and it rocks! The Yankees have Anthony Rizzo, the Knicks have Donte DiVincenzo and the Rangers have Vincent Trocheck. 

The bad (that’s actually not that bad)

With the victory, the Giants (who now have three wins) fell down the draft order. 

Prior to this week, New York held the second overall pick; with their win as well as a loss by two-win Arizona, a loss by three-win Chicago and two-win New England being on a bye week, the G-Men fell to the fifth overall pick. As the regular season nears the finish line, every win for bottom-feeders like the Giants feels a little bit like a loss. 

However, let’s think about this differently. 

First, there are still seven weeks left in the season, which is plenty of time for the draft order to change. After all, the Giants and Patriots play next week, the Bears and Cardinals play in Week 16, and the Panthers play four games against teams who currently hold a top-10 pick. 

Secondly, some fans and people with a stake in New York’s future are upset that they hindered their draft odds. For that, I have a news flash: the people actually playing football don’t tank. Here’s what I wrote last year after the Houston’s miracle Week 18 win over Indy that knocked them out of the first overall pick:

The only problem is that the players and coaches are the only ones who can decide the outcome of a game on the field, and they definitely aren’t going to tank. While backups and not-very-good players give a team a lesser shot of winning than starters and good players, the former group is going to try! They’re going to try very hard! They likely don’t have the financial cushions that starters do, nor do they have the bevy of opportunities to succeed at a professional level that starters do. When your future isn’t guaranteed, you’re going to work extremely hard. That’s how humans operate.

Take {Davis} Mills, for example. His future is far from guaranteed; in fact, even though Young might be out of the equation for Houston, the Texans are likely going to draft his replacement in April. If you knew you were likely going to be replaced in a few months, you’d probably care! A lot! You’d put your head down and try your very hardest to succeed, which is what Mills has been doing since he entered the league last season.

Another perfect example can be seen with the Giants. They played all of their backups against the Eagles on Sunday, who were playing all of their starters. The Giants had no incentive to win that game other than to beat their rivals – they secured the NFC’s sixth seed prior to Week 18. But New York’s backups tried! They gave a damn! I don’t know if we’re ever going to see Davis Webb start a meaningful NFL game, and neither did he, so of course he bulldozed over a defensive back instead of just sliding like a traditional quarterback would. Because the Giants went 100% the entire game, they only lost to the NFC’s top seed by six.

Similarly can apply for a player like DeVito, a UDFA who’s starting mostly because of injuries to starter Daniel Jones and backup Tyrod Taylor. His future in the NFL is far from guaranteed. The only reason DeVito might care about New York’s first-round pick is because it could easily be the new starter next season in either Caleb Williams or Drake Maye. 

To that point, let’s say the Giants miss out on a top-three pick. Here are the list of teams that currently have four wins or fewer (not including the Panthers, whose first-round pick is in Chicago’s hands from the Bryce Young trade) and their starting QB (or QB’s) in parentheses:

• Bears (Justin Fields)
• Cardinals (Kyler Murray)
• Patriots (Mac Jones)
• Giants (Daniel Jones/Tommy DeVito)
• Titans (Ryan Tannehill/Will Levis)
• Commanders (Sam Howell)
• Falcons (Desmond Ridder/Taylor Heinicke)
• Packers (Jordan Love)
• Buccaneers (Baker Mayfield)
• Jets (Aaron Rodgers/Zach Wilson)
• Chargers (Justin Herbert)
• Rams (Matthew Stafford)

I was surprised to see the amount of quarterback stability amongst the league’s worst, albeit to varying degrees. Right now, there’s certainly a chance that one of Maye or Williams falls. 

Even if the Giants don’t get either QB, there are plenty of awesome non-QB prospects at the top (as of now) that would fill needs for the G-Men. Ohio State’s Marvin Harrison Jr and Georgia’s Brock Bowers appear to be generational pass-catching talents. Notre Dame’s Joe Alt as well as Penn State’s Olu Fashanu appear to be franchise players at offensive tackle, 

Whatever ends up happening come the end of the regular season as well as in late April, there’s one thing I’m sure of: if the Giants continue to play hard and win at least a couple of more games the rest of the way, they’ll set themselves up for success in the 2024 draft. 

You see, the football gods and goddesses are always watching. They see if a team is trying hard and is good-spirited. It’s how the Texans seemed to end up with the better QB in last year’s draft class despite not having the top overall pick. Heck, basketball works in a similar fashion. The San Antonio Spurs are a perfect example. Their wholesome basketball ways and exceptional treatment of superstars must’ve sat really well with the lottery higher-ups, because for the third time in franchise history, they ended up with the top pick in a draft with a generational prospect (David Robinson, Tim Duncan and Victor Wembenyama)

In summary, Giants fans shall not fret. At this rate, a positive result come April is looking more likely.   

The two best feel-good teams right are two franchises who, historically, haven’t felt a lot of good

As the subhead reads, the Lions and Texans haven’t felt a ton of joy in recent years…until this season. 

CJ Stroud didn’t have his cleanest game on Sunday – he threw more interceptions against the Cardinals (3) than he had in his first nine games combined (2). But for the most part, he still looked like Him, one who listens to Himmy Buffett and eats at Himmy John’s. Poised, cool, calm, collected. Basically, all of the traits that don’t usually define rookie quarterbacks. 

Things weren’t looking too great for the Lions…until both them and the Bears reverted to their true identities. Detroit engineered two efficient touchdown drives in the last 4:15 to take the lead, then sack-fumble-safetied Justin Fields to clinch the win. The joyous punt of the football by Aidan Hutchinson after the game-sealing safety was emblematic of Detroit’s season thus far: we went through adversity, screw all of you, let’s have fun. 

Funny enough, two of Detroit’s three playoff appearances since 2002 (Houston’s first NFL season) have seen the Texans make the playoffs as well (2011-12 and 2016-17). With the Lions sitting at 8-2 and the Texans at 6-4, 2023-24 could very well be added to the aforementioned list.

The Eagles survive the Chiefs, who couldn’t survive themselves 

Is it weird to say that I’m unsure if the Eagles are actually the best team in the league? The eyes and stats say that Jalen Hurts doesn’t look quite like the betting favorite to win MVP (which he is right now). The defense has been…ok. Plus, they’re 6-1 in one-possession games. As seen with the Vikings last season, 

But guess what? They’ve been finding ways to win, both pretty and not-so-pretty. That includes the opposition committed self-inflicted mistakes over and over which is exactly what happened to Kansas City. 

The primary reason for KC’s defeat was that they literally couldn’t catch the ball. Their struggles hauling in Mahomes’ near-perfect passes was punctuated by Marquez Valdes-Scantling dropping what would’ve been the game-winning touchdown late in the fourth quarter, then Justin Watson’s hands turning into trampolines on the ensuing fourth down attempt. 

Despite all of that, I don’t feel as worried about the Chiefs as some may. Everything else on the team looks completely fine. It’ll be up to the receivers to reel the offense back in. 

Not-so-quick hitters

Maryland football 

As a Maryland native, I want the Terps to be good at football so badly, and they’ve been on the doorstep of greatness time and time again. However, they’re just so…weird. 

This past Saturday was a perfect example, when UMD had a chance to knock off third-ranked Michigan at home. Despite quarterback Taulia Tagovailoa making numerous mistakes and the running game failing to generate much of anything, Michigan led by just five in the fourth quarter. With a chance to rock the college football world, Tagovailoa…threw an interception and committed intentional grounding in the end zone. Ballgame. Wolverines escape. 

For the past decade-plus, against top-tier opponents, they’ve usually gotten blown to smithereens or played them extremely close until they shot themselves in the foot en route to a loss. For example, here are four seasons where the Terps played at least three AP-ranked Big Ten opponents and the combined scores of each: 

2016: Opponent 149, Maryland 13 (Three games)

2017: Opponent 218, Maryland 47 (Five games)

2019: Opponent 222, Maryland 31 (Four games)

2021: Opponent 247, Maryland 84 (Five games)

Yowza! That is absolutely appalling! But get this: Since 2011, I counted 17 games where Maryland kept a game against an AP-ranked opponent close until they let the game get away. If you want to fact-check me, here’s the list of games where this was the case: 

• West Virginia 2011 (reverse scenario a.k.a started slow and almost came back. Down 27-10 at halftime, UMD lost 37-31)
• Georgia Tech 2011 (same reverse scenario, down 21-3 at the end of three, UMD lost 21-16)
• Clemson 2011 (UMD led 35-17 in third quarter, CU ends game on 39-10 run)
• West Virginia 2012 (tied 14-14 in second quarter, WVU ends game on 17-7 run)
• Clemson 2013 (up 7-6 at the end of first quarter, CU ends game on 34-20 run)

• Ohio State 2015 (tied in the third quarter, OSU ends game on 28-0 run)
• Michigan State 2015 (tied 7-7 at the end of first quarter, MSU ends game on 17-0 run)
• Michigan 2015 (down 6-0 at halftime, UM ends game on 22-0 run)

• Michigan 2018 (up 7-3 after first quarter, UM ends game on 39-14 run)
• Iowa 2018 (down 3-0 at the end of first quarter, Iowa ends game on 20-0 run)
• Ohio State 2018 (ridiculous OT game that ended with UMD failing to convert a two-point conversion for the win. OSU wins 52-51)

• Indiana 2020 (down 7-3 at halftime, IU ends game on 20-8 run)
• Iowa 2021 (UMD leads 7-3 in first quarter, Iowa goes on 48-7 run to end game)
• Penn State 2021 (tie game in fourth quarter, PSU ends game on 17-0 run)
• Michigan 2022 (one-possession game in fourth quarter)
• Ohio State 2022 (one-possession game in fourth quarter)
• Ohio State 2023 (Down 20-17 through three quarters, OSU outscores UMD 21-0 in fourth quarter)
• Michigan 2023 (one-possession game throughout)

For as much success the men’s and women’s basketball teams have enjoyed, UMD fans just haven’t been able to enjoy truly awesome football teams. Sure, they’ve had stretches of semi-greatness in the mid-’50’s, mid-’70’s and early 2000’s. They’ve had wins in recent years that were cool at the time, like when they beat Texas in back-to-back seasons as well as Syracuse in 2019, who was ranked at the time. 

But the bottom line is that they still can’t get over the hump. They have a similar problem as Penn State does, only that the Nittany Lions have been much better than the Terps since the start of the 2010s. Bah Humbug. 

Anyhoo, back to professional football. 

Jalen Carter almost galaxy brains his way to an interception

A few weeks ago, the Raiders pulled off a play on special teams that made lots of people think “huh, that’s kind of genius, why haven’t more teams tried that?” 

In summary, Raiders kicker Daniel Carlson booted the kickoff as hard as he could at Bears running back Travis Homer. It was basically a more violent onside kick; the goal was to have the ball ricochet off of the closest member of the return team, which would create a live ball scenario. It almost worked; the ball doinked off of Homer’s helmet high into the air. Although the Bears recovered, the out-of-the-box call was awesome to see. 

This week, there was another instance of NFL players having gnarly imaginations. With the Chiefs trying to score before halftime without any timeouts and a running clock, Patrick Mahomes went to spike the ball with two seconds left…and Jalen Carter almost intercepted it. 

On the surface, this seems crazy. The distance from the ball to the ground on a normal football spike is, at most, a few feet. Combined with how fast quarterbacks usually spike footballs, diving between a center’s legs and catching it requires immaculate timing and strong hands. Carter almost pulled it off, and his inspiration came from…YouTube. I’d say this ranks second in athletes learning things from YouTube behind Joel Embiid using the service to learn proper shooting techniques. 

This also wasn’t the first time an NFL player has tried this. Ed Reed, Sheldon Richardson and Grady Jarrett have all attempted this near-impossible feat, but neither succeeded despite each of them coming very close.  

I’m unsure if this will ever happen, but the blueprint has been provided not only by the three aforementioned players that have tried what Carter tried, but an NBA player as well. While he was with the Boston Celtics in 2021, current Memphis Grizzlies guard and defensive savant Marcus Smart shared some tips and tricks during an 18-minute YouTube video with popular basketball trainer Ryan Razooky, better known as R2bball. 

Here’s a minute-long clip from the video (fast forward to 8:10). See if you can spot any similarities between how Smart goes for steals and how it might correlate with intercepting spikes in football:

The ideas that Smart is explaining and intercepting a football spike are very similar. Basically, when a basketball player dribbles, there’s a very small window of time that the ball is going to be uncontrolled, which is when the ball is descending. The same goes for a football spike; once the quarterback throws the ball at the ground, it’s not like the quarterback can catch the ball on the way down. They’re simply not quick enough. This allows for a defender who times the downward motion of the ball perfectly to potentially get a hand on the ball or, in a defensive tackle’s case, catch the ball on the way down.

I’m curious to see if more players try this and if there’s ever going to be a counter to this. Are centers going to try and trap diving defensive lineman with their legs? Are quarterbacks going to spike it to the side rather than right in front of them? Is that a fumble? Whatever the side effects of this may potentially be, I’m excited that players are continuously finding unique ways to succeed.   

DaRon Bland registers another pick-six 

With Bland’s most recent house call (this time off of Bryce Young), Bland now has four pick-sixes on the season, tied for the most in a single-season in NFL history. 

Maybe his five interceptions last year as a rookie should’ve been foreshadowing. Maybe with Trevon Diggs’ injury, his interception-savvy ways had to be passed on to someone in Dallas’ DB room. Whatever happened, it’s clear that some DB’s have a bigger nose for the ball; Bland seems to be one of them. 

Tony Pollard really wanted to score (and he did!)

Contrary to his teammate on the other side of the ball that keeps finding the end zone, Pollard had done anything but for most of the season entering Sunday. After he scored twice in

Dallas’ Week 1 demolition of the Giants, Pollard went scoreless from weeks 2-11. From weeks 4-10, Pollard didn’t even clear 60 yards rushing. 

There are two reasons why this was slightly infuriated for Pollard, Cowboys fans and fantasy football players with Pollard on their team. He came into the season with high expectations, as Ezekiel Elliott’s departure paved the way for Pollard to finally be the RB1. A big reason why people were pining for Pollard to start was because he created explosive runs and scored a lot despite limited touches. The two things he was known for weren’t showing up at all. 

Then, Sunday happened. Specifically, Pollard went beast mode. It was really funny to see Pollard completely deviate from his normal running style. His desperation for a touchdown turned him into Earl Campbell. 

Awards and superlatives 

Biggest WTF team of the week: The Los Angeles Chargers 

Because I’m really unsure of what else Justin Herbert could possibly do to help the Chargers. 

Biggest WTF story of the week: Charissa Thompson 

I usually try to avert talking about negative topics in these columns, but I simply couldn’t let this one slide. 

For context, Thompson is one of the most prominent sideline reporters in sports who currently holds positions with Amazon Prime and Fox. Earlier last week, she went on Pardon My Take and said that, during her time as a sideline reporter at Fox, she would “make up the report sometimes”. 

She then added on.

“No coach is gonna get mad if I say, ‘Hey, we need to stop hurting ourselves, we need to be better on third down, we need to stop turning the ball over and do a better job of getting off the field.’ They’re not gonna correct me on that. So I’m like, it’s fine, I’ll just make up the report.”

This is infuriating for two main reasons. One is that the job of a sideline reporter is incredibly important. Sure, coachspeak can be regurgitated regularly, and many people don’t consider their job “important”, but the sideline reporter is a primary medium between the game and the audience. In-game news updates like injuries fall on the sideline reporter to communicate to everyone watching the game, and it becomes especially important when something serious takes place. 

For example, Lisa Salters was the sideline reporter for ESPN when Damar Hamlin nearly passed away during Bills-Bengals last season. In those moments, the sideline reporter becomes the most important primary source in sports. Every word she speaks is like food to a hungry audience clamoring for any updates on the situation. 

This is also a slap in the face to a lot of people in sports media, especially those still looking to break into the industry. For aspiring sideline reporters and sports journalists, seeing someone at the top of the profession say that they’ve fibbed their way through it? That hurts! There are so many people below Thompson’s current spot on the sports media ladder that are genuine and well-researched. 

Thompson’s self-reported wrongdoings are fireable. At the very least, I hope this is a learning experience for all involved. 

Most successful cool play of the weekend: The fake punt

Fake punts are rare, but this weekend saw not just a lot of them, but a lot of successful ones, too. 

Even in the middle of a depressing defeat to the Bills, the Jets caught the Bills special teams unit sleeping. Amidst a close primetime contest, the Vikings converted on a gutsy fake punt call. 

At the collegiate level, North Alabama caught (4) Florida State by surprise and picked up 64 yards on a fake punt that eventually led to a touchdown. In New Mexico State’s thrashing of Auburn, the Aggies pulled off a fake punt on the first play of the fourth quarter. UNLV and Buffalo both succeeded. In the Division II playoffs, Slippery Rock caught East Stroudsburg sleeping so bad that they actually scored a touchdown. Finally, in the last week of the FCS regular season, Valparaiso nearly upset St. Thomas, and a fake punt on fourth-and-eight from inside their own 25-yard line (!) kept their hopes alive. 

Amidst the fake punt-filled weekend, it reminded me of a quote former Mizzou football head coach Gary Pinkel had on fake punts. Pinkel, who developed a reputation for calling frequent fakes on special teams, had this to say on the main thing him and other coaches look for 

“We look for teams that are vulnerable.”

In all of the fake punts listed above, the opposition was vulnerable in some way. Will this lead to more fake punts in the future? It’ll be dependent on lots of things, like how aggressive the punting team is and how vulnerable the return team is. Nevertheless, it was cool to see a usually-routine play turn into anything but routine a handful of times this weekend. 

Weirdest trend: Dropping the ball at the goal-line 

College football is making another appearance on FMIC because of another mental mistake that was completely avoidable. This one wasn’t nearly as costly as Miami (FL)’s gaffe against Georgia Tech, but again, it’s something that continues to baffle me every time it happens.

On Saturday, Alabama dominated Chattanooga 66-10. Ty Simpson, the backup to usual starting QB Jalen Milroe, was in the game with the Tide up by a lot. On third-and-nine, the Mocs sent a blitz, which Alabama picked up flawlessly. A hole opened up on the left side, and the scramble-happy Simpson took it. As he flew down the left sideline, it was clear that no Moc defender would catch him. 

He coasted happily into the end zone, let go of the ball and pointed his finger into the sky victoriously. The only problem was that he wasn’t victorious, because he had dropped the ball right before he crossed the goal-line. No touchdown. 

This is the second time in two weeks this has happened. Last Saturday, Washington was playing Utah in a game that, in my opinion, had a Ute victory written all over it. In the past two seasons, Utah has spoiled the College Football Playoff hopes of a Pac-12 peer right as they were about to get to the promised land. In 2021, they smashed Oregon by 31 in the regular season, and just for funsies, beat them by 28 in the Pac-12 title game. Last season, they beat USC by 24 in the Pac-12 title game, knocking the previously fourth-ranked Trojans out of the Playoff. 

This time around presented a similar situation. The Huskies were undefeated and ranked fifth in the nation, but the Utes were putting up a stellar fight, trailing U-Dub by just five late in the third quarter. 

Knocking on the door of Washington’s red zone, Utah quarterback Bryson Barnes’ dump off pass that was slightly off the mark was tipped and picked by UW linebacker Alphonzo Tuputala. In his 32nd career college game, Tuputala had his first interception. The spotlight was finally on him. As he beelined down the right sideline, ecstasy seemed to fill him with every step. 

Ecstasy, however, can cause irrational behavior…like Tuputala dropping the ball before the goal-line and Utah recovering.

The feeling of celebration makes people do weird things. Funny dances are aplenty. Clothes get removed. Injuries occasionally happen. But for some reason, football players have an inexplicable tendency to drop the ball before they cross the goal-line. 

I’ve never understood it. Why are football players so excited to get rid of the one thing that actually guarantees them six points? It’s like the ball is a burden on their journey to a wondrous celebration. Heck, there are plenty of celebrations throughout history that involve the ball. The spike. The bowling ball. Include the engine behind your cool highlight, dang it!

Thankfully for Simpson and Tuputala, their mistakes didn’t snowball. Washington’s defense forced a safety on the next play, and the Huskies went on to win. For Simpson, Alabama was already up by several touchdowns, and the Tide scored on the next play. However, I hope these goofs can be lessons to all football players. 

Quote of the Week

“Steph Curry don’t ever stop shooting. I’m gonna keep letting it fly.” – Texans QB CJ Stroud after his three-interception game against the Cardinals. 

Stat of the Week

Devin Singletary rushed for 112 yards against the Cardinals to make it two consecutive weeks with 100+ yards rushing. The last time he did that? November 2018, when he was a senior at Florida International.