By: Emily Holtzman
Last night I sat down with my roommates, Alicia and Ciara, to listen to Father John Misty’s newest release, I Love You, Honeybear for the first time. Consider our conversation (transcribed below) and pictures we drew while listening, our “review.” Please excuse all tangents.
Emily: What else would you say to Honeybear?
Alicia: Can I put my hand…in that honey pot?
Ciara: I thought of sleeping cat *proceeds to sing smelly cat*
Alicia: Draw J Tillman as Jesus sticking his hand in the honeypot!!!!
Alicia: What’s a bump it?
Emily: There is absolutely NO way that you missed the bump it….
Emily: Ok “I love you Honeybear” is over, now we move onto “Chateau Lobby”
Alicia: I feel like I’m in Spain listening to this
Ciara: Oh my god, I wish we had chips and salsa. Oh wait, we do
Emily: I’m digging this song.
Alicia: Yeah, except, I feel like Spain.
Emily: Do you not like feeling like Spain ?!?!?
*”True Affection” comes on*
Alicia: Oh, this one is really different from the last song. This one’s like in space. Like the last song, the movie equivalent would be like, Under the Tuscan Sun. (“True Affection” playing)
Ciara: Or Inside Llewyn Davis.
Alicia: But the beginning of the song, was like outer space, like Interstellar, but happy Interstellar. Wait, it’s changing again …
Ok so that second part, when the lyrics come in, it sounds like a jungle, but like a jungle in the future.
Ciara: Em you’re going to have a fun time transcribing this…
Ciara: Ooh! So Dreamgirls. (“When You’re Smiling and Astride Me” playing)
Alicia: Dreamgirls? Like, Beyonce Dreamgirls?
Emily: This is real gospel-y.
Ciara: Wait, have you guys been on Beyonce’s website? You should go to it. (you really should)
Emily: This song was called “Nothing Ever Happens at the Goddamn Thirsty Cow”
Alicia: Yeah it sounded like a really sad night in an old western bar.
Emily: I don’t really like this kind of like, throwback Southern/Western gentleman era clothing, or like, attitude.
Alicia: Yeah! Like those shirts that are like white lines and color around it?
Emily: Yes. Exactly.
Alicia: I mean, how would you even classify this? It’s not really folk, but people are going to call it indie folk because they don’t know what to call it. And because he has a beard.
Ciara: It’s kind of like Edward Sharpe-wave.
Emily: What if like, all at once, all the magnets in the world stopped working. Like everyone’s refrigerator magnets just fell to the ground. I picture all these slow motion videos of people watching their refrigerator magnets fall and this song is playing. (“Strange Encounter” playing)
Ciara: Oh, like on Bill Nye! No, wait, that was if gravity stopped working.
Emily: I feel like I’m watching one of those movies about a couple whose relationship is just deteriorating, and this is the climax. (“The Ideal Husband” playing)
Alicia: Yeah, and you’d just be seeing flashes of them fighting over and over. So chaotic…
*laugh track comes in on “Bored in the USA”*
Alicia: *gesturing violently* ok ok, it sounds like he’s on a stage, with a spotlight on him, and he’s trying to talk about his feelings but everyone is just laughing at him because they don’t get it.
Emily: They don’t get it because, like, they’re just silly Americans.
Emily: Oh my god – maybe this is how he met his wife! (“I Went to the Store One Day” playing)
Alicia: I wonder if he’s the guy in that Aziz Ansari joke.
Emily: So what do you guys think?
Ciara: That was it?
Alicia: So we’ve got Ciara’s opinion.
Emily: Are you maybe saying it all sounded the same?
Ciara: No, wait, I just can’t believe we listened to 11 songs. It started out so different than the way it ended.
Alicia: I feel like I was taken through the trials and tribulations of one relationship.
Emily: I got that more towards the end than the beginning.
Alicia: But the beginning was like the Honeymoon period, and as it goes on it gets chaotic and goes through all these rough patches. And then he sews all the seams back up and at the end it’s tender again.
^That last quote is the best summary I can offer of this album. Here’s what we drew while we listened:
(if you look closely you can see Jesus/J Tillman sticking his hand in the honey pot)