It’s approaching the end of October, and while many of us are preoccupied with jamming out to ‘Monster Mash’ as well as the crushing inevitability of college assignments, we sometimes forget to actually pick out a costume.
Now you can easily spend a whole lot of money on a costume that requires a whole lot of explanation on the night, or you can rely on one of these ready-made costumes to whip up last second.
I can assure you* that these won’t cost you a dime and will impress any music fan who also embraces a very basic level of humour.
*not a legally binding statement
1 – The Weeknd
You’re more than welcome to spend a whole lotta coin on completing his Super Bowl performance attire as well as the medical costs required to upgrade your vocal chords. However, this is not what this list is for. Simply writing “Saturday” and “Sunday” on a T-shirt will do. Even a wig is unnecessary at this point since the joke has been made!
2 – Pre Malone
Another pun-based costume. This one takes a lot of commitment but still won’t cost you anything. The tattoos will have to be drawn on, and hopefully not purchased as rub-ons like certain roommates that I know. And to complete the pun, just remain clean-shaven and talk about how you hope to one day become a star. Easy as that!
3 – The Bee Gees (two people)
This might be the easiest of them all. One person has the letter B on their shirt, and to make things interesting, the other has the letter G on theirs. It’s an idea so basic that you’re likely to get one of these two reactions: laughing at the ridiculousness of it, or being asked politely yet sternly to leave the party. In my opinion, it’s a win-win.
4 – The bassist of a band that you’ve never heard of but they’re really cool and you should check them out
I cannot tell a lie. I’m a sucker for a Halloween costume with a ridiculously long title, and obviously this is no exception. You’ve got full creativity over this costume, as you could put on any sort of item of clothing you own that expresses enough emotional suppression that you could conceivably look like a member of an unknown band.
5 – Lady Gaga in her most outlandish and daring costume yet
The costume? You! That’s right, the pop starlet herself is back to her crazy costume era, and she thought that dressing as you would be the most daring and avant-garde look to date. Somehow, this is even lazier than the unknown bassist, and even more niche. That said, the right explanation of the costume is sure to get a chuckle out of your audience.
So there you have it. For the 21st year in a row, I have saved Halloween and, by extension, Christmas as well. You can use any of these costumes for free so long as you command your fellow partygoers to listen to PTA Meeting on KCOU on Monday nights. So enjoy your Halloween and don’t forget to avoid any gathering that won’t play Bobby Pickett’s Monster Mash at least seven times.
