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Tag Archives: Satire

UOCK: Drake’s in South Asia

  • Posted on October 24, 2017
  • by Elena Cruz
  • in Music, Satire

By Ashwini Mantrala Intro Every Oct. 24, hearts gather around the world to give respect to none other than Aubrey Graham, our prince hailing from Toronto, Memphis, The Bay Area, Houston, Atlanta, Miami, London, Jamaica, Nigeria and wherever else he wants to claim at the moment. The man’s birthday will undoubtedly be a national holiday […]

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UOCK: Connection Discovered Between Marvin Gaye’s ‘I Want You’ and Erectile Efficiency

  • Posted on October 18, 2017
  • by Elena Cruz
  • in Music, Satire

By Owen Brock Researchers at the MU Office of Research uncovered a new scientific discovery in music therapy and sexual health Oct. 12. Subjects afflicted with erectile dysfunction listened to tracks from Marvin Gaye’s 1976 soul and R&B masterpiece “I Want You,” experienced symptoms of significant sexual arousal. The subjects all between ages 58 and […]

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UOCK: An Open Letter To Spotify

  • Posted on September 20, 2017
  • by Owen Brock
  • in Music, Satire

Dear Spotify, There comes a time when a real one must bear his soul. Maybe this level of vulnerability will bring solace to other real ones in the process. For even if one person finds their voice through this, it will have been worth the effort. So this goes out to all the real ones: […]

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UOCK: Miguel is Not Working on a New Album…

  • Posted on September 8, 2017
  • by Elena Cruz
  • in Music, Satire, Uncategorized

By Elorm Nutakor It’s 5 a.m. in Toronto, and I sit at a flight terminal in Pearson International Airport, waiting for boarding call. Naturally, my headphones are blasting Drake’s “5AM in Toronto” as I soak in the moment. It’s clearly cause for celebration considering I just checked off another bucket list item. I’m on a […]

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